Remembering Bill Meadow - John Lantos

Dr. John Lantos

Yeah, so Shabbat Shalom, everyone. It's a mitzvah to commemorate a good life and to console the bereaved. A lot of Bill's family is here, so if you see them, give them a hug on the way out. To my mind, Bill had three qualities that defined his life. Bree and Dan talked about some of them. I summed them up as follows. One was integrity. One was generosity, and the third was impatience with bullshit.

Dr. John Lantos

I used to say intolerance, but I think impatience is a little better. But integrity formed the bedrock of his unshakable values. He was loyal first to Susan, then to the kids, then to his students, and his friends, and his patients. One of my favorite phrases that Bill would drum into the residents and fellows as they were getting ready to take on the job of being an attending physician was, you are an attending. That means you are there. Stay there. Do not hide. Be there. Be prepared to speak about hard stuff. Stay there.

Dr. John Lantos

He used to say, ethics is easy, life is hard, by which he meant that whether you're raising children, coaching soccer, taking care of a dying child, or trying to be a good friend, rules and theories don't help very much except that one rule, stay there, never abandon your friends, never abandon your patients. He would promise to his parents, whatever happens, I will be there with you. One sign of his integrity. And this may be a good sign of a well-lived life. Both his friends and his enemies agreed about one thing. Both always knew exactly where he stood, and they either hated him or loved him for that thing.

Dr. John Lantos

Second quality, generosity. Bill and the whole family have always been famous for their extraordinary generosity. I was remembering last Thanksgiving, which we spent together at their house in Michigan. If you've never been to a meadow family celebration, let me see if I can paint the scene for you. There will be maybe 50 or 75 people milling around in that special golden meadow ambiance of controlled chaos. There will be some babies bopping each other on the head with tennis balls, some teenagers flirting furtively in dark corners. a half-finished jigsaw puzzle, maybe 12 things bubbling over on the stove and 10 appetizers half-eaten on the counter. The dining room table will have been extended with every table in the house so it bends around into the living room. Every chair will be used and still somebody will be sitting on somebody else's lap. But somewhere between an Indian wedding and the pilgrimage holiday of Sukkot, There would be passionate debates about politics, feminism, careers, kids. There would be games on the TV. There was always hope for the Bears and disdain for the Cubs. It was like that for bar mitzvahs, graduations, holidays, and often they had catering brought in from places in Hyde Park, and Bill was generous to the caterers as well, so whenever you'd go out for lunch with Bill in Hyde Park, they'd say, oh, Dr. Meadow, and just start bringing more food. No bill, no check was ever brought to the table. Dr. Meadow got the best in the house. So integrity, generosity, and the third one. Bill's attitude about bullshit was complex. He loved data, but he also recognized that just because something was an empirical claim, something was not an empirical claim, did not mean that it was useless. He once wrote to our friend and colleague Annie Janvier, and he said, quote, to make an article that will change things, you have to realize that there are empiric facts And there's bullshit. Look at what you are good at. These require different skills. I do the empiric facts. John does the bullshit.

Dr. John Lantos

BS without facts will not change practice very much. Facts without BS will never be read. So you need both. Let John help you with the BS, and I'll help you with the facts. So for Bill, BS had two meanings. One, it was sort of theoretical ideas of which he recognized the value. But there was the other, which was just traditional bullshit. And he would often say to people, you know, if you have something to say, say it. And he would tell people what he thought in colorful phrases like, bite me, or that was the stupidest thing ever said. When he was critiquing people who were preparing presentations, he would say, cut the crap, tell me in two minutes why this topic is interesting and which finding is original. About slides, he would say, skip the angels, skip the inspiring clouds, skip the Anne Getty's babies and the crap, white background, black letters, simple graphs, font 34 minimum, six lines max, and never say, I'm sorry this graph is so small you cannot read it. Do not show those slides. You are never sorry about a slide.

Dr. John Lantos

Say what you mean, integrity, generosity, no bullshit. Let me just say a little something about Bill's last years and about Susan. Bill had been pretty sick for his last four years. Susan, through those tough years, you were his friend, his advocate, his inspiration, his coach. You kept giving him hope, and without you by his side every minute, calling in friends, nudging his doctors, cheering him on. He never would have lived as long or as well as he did. So thank you from all of us for giving us Bill for another few years. It's sad that he can't be with us anymore, but the warmth and the love that so many people felt for him reflects his enduring legacy of compassion, integrity. and selfless loyalty. His was a gloriously well-lived life.